It’s clear that anxiety is ruling the roost in your family and it’s likely you don’t know how to get free. You want your child to grow in confidence, to feel more independent, and to quit missing out on opportunities because of their anxiety. But how to make that happen? I bet it feels like a big old impossible tangled mess and maybe right now it is, but I can teach you to untangle it!

Parenting anxious kids is counterintuitive.

That’s just a fact! What works for non-anxious kids — reassuring them when they’re scared, hand holding until they’re ready to let go, avoiding what scares them until they tell you they want to face it — actually makes things worse for anxious kids. That’s why every parent of an anxious child gets stuck in those Parenting Pitfalls!

I know you might feel alone right now but you’re not! Every parent of an anxious child knows exactly how you feel and how hard this all is.

Anxiety craves certainty

• “Are my friends mad at me?”
• “Am I going to get a good grade on the exam?””
• “What if I fall off of my bike?”

Kids want us to promise them that everything will be ok. They want us to say, of course your friends aren’t mad! I’m sure you’re going to do great on the test! You’re fantastic at riding your bike; I’m sure you won’t fall!

But the truth is, we can’t promise them those things. Sometimes things don’t turn out ok but — and this is key! — we need to send them the message that we know they can handle it.

We need to help them FACE their anxiety, not avoid it. And it’s ok to take it slow for them and for us. Even baby steps forward are real progress!

So how does that look?

It looks like:

• Helping them go towards the things that scare them, gently and at a pace that works for everyone.
• Not protecting them from their feelings of anxiety but bearing witness to their struggle.
• Understanding that being uncertain is just part of being human and offering them empathy in the challenge.

Facing fears is the core of anxiety work but how we do that work depends on who our child is, who we are, and the context of the anxiety.

I know it’s hard. It’s hard because we worry about their worries. We worry that they’ll get hurt or we worry that their anxiety is too big to face the uncertainty and so we naturally, lovingly, understandingly try to protect them.

And THAT is how we get stuck in the Pitfalls of avoidance.

But we can do it! With help and our own support, we can break the grip that anxiety has on our family!

That’s why I’m inviting you to check out my free Communication Pitfalls resource

Loving, empathetic parents are great at talking to their kids but without being aware, they can also unintentionally reinforce the anxiety when they’re trying to help.

Identifying your Communication Pitfalls is the very first step to ending them!

This resource tool makes it easy for you to spot those Pitfalls so that you can STOP them. I tell parents to print this resource out and put it on their ‘fridge or the bathroom mirror so they can remind themselves of the language that keeps their kids STUCK.

You’ll also get my free Sunday newsletter, which is chock full of the latest research on child anxiety, tips I use with my clients (and my kids), and insight into breaking those family patterns.

Ready to tackle the anxiety in your family? Just sign up below and I’ll send it right to your inbox!